Become Secure in your relationships
Secure is a 6 module course designed to reveal the healthy attachment blueprint that already exists inside you, so that you can turn relationship distress into relationship success, whether you are currently single or in a partnership.
Discover the Path to Fulfilling Relationships
Enter an accelerated journey to understand your attachment patterns, heal your attachment wounds, and develop the skills for deep, lasting relationships.
The Secure course offers profound insights into relationship dynamics, helping you find clarity and solutions to your struggles.
Deep change will come from addressing the nervous system’s insecurities, developing elegant boundaries and transforming the anxious-avoidant dance into an empowered romantic polarity.
This course gives you the tools and awareness to end destructive relationship patterns so you can finally move into truly healthy long-term intimacy.
End the painful patterns
Learn this powerful framework to understand and transcend relationship challenges, so you can get on with the beautiful life, love and intimacy that you are here to actually experience.
Understand WHY you are the way you are in relationship
Understand WHY you always end up dating the same kind of person
Understand WHY you have the same kind of conflicts and challenges
Understand WHY relationships always seem to end in the same way
And understand HOW to change it all for good.
The Rise of Attachment Theory
Attachment theory has become really popular in the last couple of years, and with good reason.
I remember when I encountered it for the first time around eight years ago—SO MUCH SENSE to the struggles and challenges I was going through.
The push-pull dynamics, the conflict and triggers, the overwhelming anxiety, never quite feeling settled, always on edge, not sure whether to stay in or leave, breaking up and making up—all of it clicked into place as I learned this framework.
A Journey of Deep Understanding
Since then, I’ve invested well over seven years learning about attachment theory. I read so many books, took all the courses I could find, and even studied it at a postgraduate level at university.
Learning about attachment theory provided me with a lot of intellectual knowledge, but it didn’t end the challenges.
Reading all the books and following influencers didn’t stop my triggers or conflicts. I still chased the wrong people, despite knowing all about the traits of the anxious and avoidant... I just had a better way of diagnosing them. I could talk about all the problems forever, but I hadn’t fixed any of them.
True Healing happens in the Body
Attachment doesn’t happen in the mind; it happens in the body and nervous system.
You can intellectually learn everything about attachment and still get blindsided by triggers, turning relationships into a nightmare of fighting about nothing... except now you just have more ammunition.
Because it’s actually the underlying insecurity in the nervous system causing the anxiety, fear, and dysfunctional coping mechanisms that sabotage intimacy. This has to get resolved in our body, not just in our heads.
With the right tools and practices, we can all become Secure.
Secure… a course for developing security, safety, reliability, consistency, stability and healing
Somewhat boring words, perhaps, yet when we are rooted in this kind of security, what then emerges is a sustainable experience of fun, passion, play, adventure, love, romance, passion, chemistry, wildness, depth, evolution, awakening…You get to have these for the long term, not just the “honeymoon period”.
Secure shows you how to develop important life and relationship skills, such as:
Nervous system regulation: The flexibility to both self-regulate on your own and co-regulate with a partner
Boundaries: Maintaining a clear and distinct sense of self without falling into enmeshment or codependent patterns
Self-esteem: Feeling a solid experience of self-worth and the ability to stand up for yourself
Vulnerability: Clearly expressing your own inner world, needs, and desires
Listening: Truly hearing, understanding and validating others’ needs and boundaries
These are the foundational elements that we work on healing, through understanding our own distinct patterns. Each attachment style requires a different approach to gain the skills required for co-creating incredible relationships.
This course uses powerful methods and includes bonus courses to transform insecurity into inner security:
Integrated Somatic Processing: A powerful technique for turning inward, releasing deep trauma, and realigning to your natural state as love.
Relational Energetics: Partner practices that bring awareness to subtle energy dynamics so that you can create more relational harmony.
Embodied Postural Repatterning: Unlock empowered qualities and true relational potential through the way you embody your posture.
In 6 powerful modules, you’ll deeply understand attachment, grow a secure blueprint whether partnered or single, and gain tools to make these shifts permanent.
Prepare for a transformational experience and claim a new way of relating!
Course Inclusions
This course is designed to approach the process of becoming Secure from multiple angles.
What you receive in the Secure program is:
6 Modules of Psychoeducational Theory
These are insight-based theory lectures, allowing you to have multiple “aha” moments… the better you understand something, the easier it is to change and grow it.
All growth starts with knowledge, and then becomes embodied through practice and experience.
Pre-recorded Integrated Somatic Processing sessions
Six deep guided meditation practices that you can do on your own time. These practices take you deep into yourself, unlocking embedded trauma and realigning you to your natural, and beautiful, unwounded self.
Powerful Insight Practices
The practices in Secure help you gain clarity on your insecure attachment patterns, and guide you into new and healthy responses. Awareness plus practice is what creates lasting transformation.
These practices have both partnered (you can do it with anyone not just a romantic partner) and solo versions.
Group Coaching Session Recordings
These coaching sessions recorded from the live course featured some amazing questions about attachment, intimacy and relationship that were answered with laser precision.
You will find answers to many of the questions you might have featured here.
Course Modules
The six modules are designed to build upon one another, providing a thorough understanding and practice of developing a Secure attachment system.
Each module includes psychoeducational theory, guided Inner Somatic Processing practices, Self-Awareness Reflective Exercises and a LIVE workshop.
Anxiety & Avoidance
This is the first ‘axis’ of attachment and describes the direction we take when distressed or challenged in relationship. Anxious attachers tend to move towards the other, whereas avoidants move away.
Neither one of these directions is wrong, but the problem is they almost always trigger each other as the primary needs are different.
The focus of this module is to reveal the inherent patterns we all carry, and move from dysfunctional to healthy functional ways of dealing with distress within intimacy.
Preoccupation & Dismissiveness
There are two major internal responses to distress. Similarly to anxiety and avoidance, they tend to either try to pull the other closer, or push them away in an attempt to soothe the nervous system.
These dysfunctional strategies can show up in a number of ways, yet they tend to fit under the category of preoccupation with getting the other person to respond, or de-escalating through some form of flaw-finding and dismissal.
In this module we will discover new strategies that bring us into a more holistic intimacy rather than the outdated ones that only destroy it.
Pathways of Healing
This module reveals the four attachment styles in the Evolve Relating model: Preoccupied Anxious, Covert Anxious (Dismissive Anxious), Fearful Avoidant (Preoccupied Avoidant), & Dismissive Avoidant.
Each style has their own needs, fears, insecurities, emotional and mental patterns, and unique pathways to healing the trauma that created them.
Here we will begin to map your unique journey, gaining insight and a clear path forward, while also learning about, and gaining compassion for, the other styles.
Boundaries & Attachment
Our boundaries are energetic, embodied and relational… What we say when we try to maintain our boundaries means nothing unless it’s coming from an integrated place in the body.
This is a class on energetics.In this module we will work with the distinct boundary patterns of each insecure attachment style, and bring the boundary system into a place of healthy and elegant functioning.The healthier the boundaries, the healthier any relationship will be.
Attachment & Polarity
One of the biggest relationship challenges is to reconcile the need to bond, attach to each other and form close companionship with the desire to maintain erotic and romantic polarity.
When we try to create polarity through dysfunctional attachment patterns, it can generate a lot of sexual chemistry but also a lot of conflict to go with it… like push-pull, and fuck-and-fight cycles.
This module supports you in untangling erotic masculine-feminine polarity from attachment, so you no longer confuse bonding with romance and sex… saving yourself from the drama that toxic infatuation brings.
Integrating Forward
By this point of the course you will have a significant level of understanding of attachment, your own attachment patterns and a number of tools and the skills to use them.
This module brings it all together, weaving it deep into your psyche and your body so that you are able to continue the journey of healing and growing with ease and grace.
You will understand your own path forward, and you will have all the tools and skills to navigate the challenge of a relationship with more confidence, competence, ease and grace than ever before.
Bonus: Regulate & Boundaried
These two courses are offered as supplementary material to the Secure course to learn advanced nervous system regulation and boundary development tools.
(Worth $600)
Regulate
Regulate teaches a meditation process for healing and resolving deep trauma.
Boundaried
Boundaried teaches an embodiment practice for developing and healing boundary dysfunction
Pricing Options
Secure ~ Regulate ~ Boundaried
Evolve Relating Membership
Testimonials
Here are some of the things prior participants have shared about this work.
About the Facilitator
Damien is the founder of Evolve Relating. He has been facilitating, teaching and coaching for 10+ years. His gift is in the synthesising of complex concepts into practical ways to grow. He weaves together authentic relating, attachment theory, polarity and awakening techniques into a holistic system of relational transformation
Frequently Asked Questions
This course is for both those in a relationship as well as for those someday wanting to be in a relationship.
Whether you are currently dating, focused more on healing, working through a challenging time in your relationship, or wanting to take your relationship to the next level by creating some more powerful foundations, this course is for you.
Expect to put aside around an hour or so total each week, plus some time to practice and reflect to get the most out of this course.
This content has the potential to be life-changing if you apply yourself fully to it.
So ensure you have the time and space to invest into the container if you want the full benefits.
Results come from effort, that is how the universe works.
We believe that if you show up and invest your time and energy into this course, you will have undoubtedly have positive transformative experiences, and grow towards increased security in your relationships.
That being said, if you go through the course with sincere effort, and find that it does not provide you with significant growth into a more secure way of relating, we will provide a refund minus 10% admin costs.
You get lifetime access to the course content and all recordings for the Secure course, as well as the bonuses Regulate and Boundaried.
Everything else in the membership requires an ongoing subscription to access once the three months is up.
Yes.
The course is currently offered as a self-paced study.
You can purchase and go through this course on your own timing.
If you wish to have support from a community, and be able to ask questions and get live coaching on this course and anything else about intimacy and relationships, consider joining the Evolve Relating Membership.
Ready for real change?
End the relationship suffering and step into the life and love you are meant to experience.